I’ve written a lot in the last month or so, but none of it was publish-worthy. In large part that’s been because I don’t sleep enough. I go to bed just fine, but I wake up at ungodly hours on a regular basis, and find myself brewing coffee, and sitting down to write. I accomplish drinking the coffee successfully, the writing not so much lately. It isn’t that I don’t write at all, but what I do put down doesn’t seem worthy of keeping. Which, given the abysmally low standard I have set in writing about the day to day of my life here on the farmlet, indicates that some of what I’ve recorded has passed the line into the truly boring.
I can’t quite form a description of this weird set of feelings – waiting-for-vaccination eagerly, coupled with lack of desire to return to ‘normal life’ plus – and this is hard for my homebody self to admit – boredom at doing the same things each day. This year, starting seeds, something that generally fills me with great joy, felt sort of ho-hum initially. I’m glad I did it, because I love my garden, but it didn’t spark joy in the least. Part of it is just being crabby about waiting to be vaccinated, I’ll be honest. Vaccine selfies abound, both making me happy for my community and frustrating me simulaneously, because we still wait – Eli is finally eligible and I will be tomorrow, but our children aren’t. My excitement is tempered because my job is to protect them, and from this, I cannot.
No matter how the adults grow safer, until my children are as well our life can’t change much.
Except life is changing a little. We are in the final stretch of getting approved to adopt, the home study. At some point, the infinity of paperwork and interviews and gates will come to an end, and then the real work begins. And because we’ve hit a lot of our financial milestone goals, we were able to put a deposit down to start our kitchen renovation next year. Add to that my career being as busy as ever some new and interesting opportunities opening up for Eli, so we’re busy as ever, if not more so.
Still, we find time to celebrate, be it Eli’s 50th or the occasional random event, and our world has recently opened up to include vaccinated parents. For us, these interactions, lost for a year, are celebrations in and of themselves.
And better weather is coming, although the chill has been hanging on. Yesterday it stormed and even snowed a little. Today is sunny, and I look forward to being out in the yard weeding for a few hours. For now, we’ll continue to work on the house and yard, and our goals, waiting to re-emerge to the world.