It rained again the other night the tail end of Hurricane Isaias, which means now we have more zucchini the size of baseball bats to harvest from the garden. Which is okay, because in addition to eating zucchini spiralized and sauteed in a myriad of dishes, zucchini makes amazing relish, and I’ll be making some more this weekend. With, by the way, my new food processor, which a wonderful friend sent me after reading my last blog post. What an amazing gift. I cried.
This is a busy year. We finished most of the junk removal this week (and by we, I mean Eli) and now it’s on to plumbing and tree removal, and we decided to splurge to have the living room and hallway painted for us in a few weeks, because we were buried in to-dos. I’ll paint the kitchen myself this winter, but we have a sectional coming in a few weeks for the living room – a splurge because our existing living room layout will not easily accommodate a family bigger than 4 – and we want it done before then. We don’t usually spend like this, but these are much-needed and budgeted things.
The garden is ripening fast. I have a Red Kuri squash that’s almost ready to be picked, and pumpkins and squashes coming up fast behind them. Winter squash storage is going to be a ‘thing’ this year, and a fun problem to solve.
Home life is somewhat all-absorbing right now, between kids, garden, projects and taking care of the house and yard.
Still, that’s okay, because I’ve been thinking. Massachusetts Covid-19 cases are already starting to rise. I have to assume that this is a result of re-opening, and it has already caused some slowing and cutbacks of the re-opening plan. Plans for returning to school are underway, but it’s unclear what’s happening there too. I certainly don’t have the ability to see the future. So we are, in that absence of clear knowledge, making our plans. Plans for school, plans to add more sustainable resources to our little farmlet, plans for saving, and plans for future fun.
I’m a huge fan of plans. Do they all work out? Oh, no, nope, not at all. They stop, change and adapt. But plans are a path to getting where you want to be, the project plan component of goal-setting, the process flow to set you on your path.
I’ve ordered some homeschool books, had the kids started listing things they want to learn about and been working with our babysitter to figure out how to keep her as long as we can, both from a financial and time perspective. While we’re still holding to see if our schools can make something work that doesn’t mean the kids will have a challenging experience, we know that we’re not the experts. We’ve been working on lists of what the kids might want to learn about (thanks for the idea, Mom!). And I’ve been soliciting help, most specifically from my ex-husband’s Aunt Mary, who is a retired educator and author who homeschooled her now-grown son. My older sister and my brother-in-law are also very experienced in this area, as are others. They can’t do it for us, but they sure can help. We’re planning and that plan will allow us to be ahead of the curve this fall.
Which brings me to an important point about setting goals and making plans – don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it (and give when it’s needed in return). When I bought Sithean, I had basically no business buying a 170-year old house in need of tons of maintenance on 1 1/4 acres by myself. There was so much, from plowing the driveway to tree removal to even basic things I couldn’t do myself, and in most cases didn’t have the budget for. Once Eli and I met – actually re-met – my life became much easier, but before there was him, there was my neighbors, my parents, my ex and others who just…helped. I still remember one night when the kids were with their Dad and I was going to do just one small thing to make the house nicer. The toilet paper holders in the house were silver-painted plastic, and ugly. I bought nice ones, and towel rods, just to do a little thing – I was on a very tight budget, and this was a splurge. So off the kids go, and I open up the toilet paper holders and all there was in the box was drywall screws. Mine were both installed in the side of vanities. I didn’t have the right hardware, it was 9 pm at night (not my best time anyway, as I’ve mentioned) and I couldn’t even do this one little thing without assistance.
I sat on the bathroom floor and sobbed because I was so overwhelmed. The next day as I relayed this to my neighbor over wine she said “So why didn’t you call us? Jay would have come right over to help”. My ex said “Next time, call me. I’ll help” and proceeded to install them. And so on. And you know what? Next time, I called. Not too much, and so many times I returned the favors with another favor, but still – just because it was my goal doesn’t mean others wouldn’t help me to get there (she says, sitting in bed under the gorgeous red ceiling her Mom painted for her and for which I will be eternally grateful). This was the true beginning of a mutual-help arrangement that my ex and Eli & I have, and I value it so much.
When you set your goals and make the plans to get there know that especially for the big ones, there will be a lot of unknowns about how you get from where you are to where you want to be. They need patience and periodic revisiting. I wanted a rose covered garden gate. So I bought a gate and then 2 years later the rose bushes. This year, they are starting to climb. I water and fertilize them as they need, tending to my goal every day. As I walk through it, I stop to see if I can weave the growth through the gate. In a few years, I will have a rose-covered garden gate. Was this practical? No. Could that money have gone elsewhere? Sure. But every time I walk through the butterfly gate I’m happy. Every, every time.
That too, has value.
Start with ‘this is what I want’ and then figure out what it will take to get there. Do not be disheartened if you can’t right then and there. That’s okay. Take a step. Then another. Even if you get somewhere you didn’t quite expect when you started, it will be closer to where you need to be.
And then, as you find yourself weaving rose canes (did you know the branches of a rose are called canes? I didn’t either) through your proverbial garden gate one summer, you will think “I’m here”. And the joy and gratitude will flow like a river.